about Humans - Part 3
by Brian John Mitchell
I’d hoped I’d
never find myself writing an article like this again; but I guess if I
only have something to complain about every 5 years, I’m not doing too
bad. The first
installment was about lying & the second
one was about pride & this one is about a phenomenon that combines
them both – historical revision. I’m not talking about how a nation
that wins a war only covers their side of the story or the differences
in the expansion of the United States in US textbooks versus the rest of
the world; I’m talking about personal histories. I understand how
it works, someone does something so embarrassing or immoral or stupid or
whatever that they change the past to justify their behavior. They
do this as a survival technique, they can’t even control it after the process
has begun & they really do believe it to be true.
I’ll give you
an incredibly embarrassing example from my own life that messes with my
head; about ten years ago I briefly went out with a woman who was living
with another man (I didn’t know this at the time). It was pretty
serious to me; she was the first woman that ever talked to me about intentionally
having children in an immediate way (which totally freaked me out).
Things didn’t work out & I found out years later that she denies having
ever been more than friends with me. So I confronted her about it
& she really believes we were never more than friends. I thought
about saying, “So you talk about having children together with friends?”
But I knew it was lost. History was re-written.
The part that
messes with me is in a way it re-writes my history too & pushes truth
into the realm of subjectivity instead of objectivity. I know I must
be doing the same thing to some extent.
Which gets me
to my current state. Everyone who knows me personally knows I have
been in a very stressful on-again/off-again long distance relationship
for 7.5 years. Recently we live closer to each other & the fantasy
of the person seen for four days every three months is gone. I am
trying to piece together if the person I loved ever existed or was based
on fantasies & lies (on both of ours parts). The whole thing
is wrapped up in my religious belief that love is truth & eternal &
a unique plan of God. So if I ever really loved this particular woman,
I will always love this woman. & if I always love this woman,
to marry & have children with another woman would be a horrendous act,
because I don’t believe you can have romantic love for two people at the
same time. Romantic feelings & lust? Of course, obviously
possible. An infatuation & vague sense someone else would be
a better match? Sure thing. So now I’m stuck, my chaste life
involving this woman without her in my life would be one of solitude if
I love her; but if I revise history to say I never really knew her &
therefore could not have loved her, I have an easy out. The fact
that she’s already taken this path in easy stride messes with me even more.
It makes us a mistake at best & a revolt against the plan of God at
I suppose I shouldn’t
be surprised, revisionist history is getting to be more acceptable everywhere.
You see it with the televangelists preaching “fake it until you make it”
& “name it & claim it.” You see it in medical jargon with
“CYA” (“covering your ass,” meant for not fully documenting medical errors).
You see it with your parents saying, “Smile & say everything’s okay.”
You see it with politicians saying, “I’m not a flip-flopper; I had a conversion
of heart.” People illustrate that truth is subjective & tell
all the kids it is too – though they won’t say it with those words because
it is too obviously bogus. But maybe I can live a little closer to
accurately & honestly than most folks, or maybe I should just start
telling people I’m an inter-dimensional traveler from a society based on
steam power; after all if one truth is as good as another I might as well
have one as wacko & fun as possible.