I first met Dave & Jennifer while they were playing together in Analog II.  Now they are members of the band Grappling Hook (fronted by Dave Bjorkback & briefly known as The Torch Marauder’s Grappling Hook).

QRD – How do you turn music mode on & off in your relationship with each other?  Or do you find yourself pretty constantly collaborating on music even if it’s songs about cooking?

Jennifer & Dave – Music mode is pretty much always on with us.  We’re always talking about or listening to music even if we’re not creating it—it’s just part of our daily lives.

QRD – How has your music changed by having someone you’re romantically involved with working with you?

Jennifer – Dave has really inspired me with his music & has challenged & encouraged me to grow musically.  I feel that I play much better & more innovatively because of him.  There’s a freedom & understanding between us that is difficult to find with anyone else.  We’re fortunate to share in our love for a lot of the same music, & we can usually anticipate what the other is looking for in a song & complement it well.

Dave – When I first realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jennifer, I happened to write the biggest, baddest, most evil riff I’ve ever been able to come up with.  I think that was a good sign.  I enjoy the challenge of coming up with ideas that I think both Jennifer & I will like.  Having worked together for so many years, we can come up with parts where we have some idea of what the other will add to it.  & a lot of times when I work on something that is arguably a bit sub-par, Jennifer comes in & adds some crazy discordant organ thing to it & it just makes it legitimate again.  I have actually shed some tears when Jennifer comes in & completes an idea that I just couldn’t make work by myself.

QRD – How do you keep things professional rather than getting personal in the band?  Like not letting being upset that someone’s not doing their house chores spill into band practice?

Jennifer & Dave – We’re not perfect at it, but we try to put things in freeze mode for Evan & Dave’s sake.  After band practice though, watch out! But seriously, sometimes the break to practice really helps us get some space & realize we’re not as upset as we thought we were.

QRD – Do you think working musically together increases the strength of your relationship?

Jennifer & Dave – Yes, definitely.  The process of creating music brings us closer together—we share in the battles & the small victories of writing, recording, & playing out.  The joy we derive is directly experienced & shared by both of us, which transfers to our relationship.

QRD – Do you think the music ever suffers because of your relationship?

Jennifer & Dave – Not overall.  Some practices may be lost due to frustrations external to the band, but that’s rare & also not unusual for any band.

QRD – Being in a romantic couple, do you try to curb lyrical content to or away from things in your relationship?

Jennifer & Dave – In Grappling Hook, Dave Bjorkback handles the lyrical responsibilities.  & he’s got much bigger things to deal with, such as lizard men, flesh machines, & frozen rays of sunlight rather than waxing poetic about our relationship.

QRD – Which came first the musical collaboration or the relationship & do you feel that at this point that you could have one without the other?

Jennifer & Dave – The musical collaboration came first, & we couldn’t imagine our relationship forming without it—being in a tight-knit band gave us the opportunity to become extremely close & to get to know each other very well.

QRD – How do things work with band members besides the two of you to get the same level of connectivity while playing your music?

Jennifer & Dave – Grappling Hook, our current band, is really an ideal situation.  Bjorkback is an amazing songwriter, & Evan, in addition to being a serious heavy-hitter, has a melodic sense that really helps us all get together & construct a song.  Sure, there are lots of time when the two of us lock into a part, but there are equally as many parts where Jennifer & Bjorkback go soaring off somewhere, or Heller & Evan trample the earth… but the end result is the whole band shaking the pillars of heaven.

QRD – Do you find music related gifts to be romantic or more like giving someone an appliance?

Jennifer & Dave – We give each other music-related gifts all the time—they’re very romantic because we’re recognizing the importance of music to each other, & giving something that the other person will really enjoy & find inspiration from.

QRD – The musician life style has an inherent lack of financial security & healthcare.  Do you find yourself thinking, “How can we start a family & continue our musical careers?”

Jennifer & Dave – We both have traditional careers in addition to our musical ones, so we’re pretty lucky in that sense.

QRD – Do you ever switch off instruments to give each other ideas?

Jennifer & Dave – Not really, but we still share ideas about what other instruments might do on a song. 

QRD – A lot of people say they feel most spiritually connected to another person is when they’re on stage & the set is working.  Is this what you find & how does this energy flow into your romantic relationship?

Jennifer & Dave – Absolutely.  An excellent show is exhilarating, & that certainly carries over to afterward.

QRD – Some couples start to get seen as a unit with one member as dominant.  Do you ever want to get one of you more recognition?

Jennifer – Sometimes—there’s a lot of misunderstanding of the importance of the organ.  But we are both extremely happy when the other is recognized for mastery of his/her instrument.

Dave – If I may rant a bit off the topic of relationships.  Jennifer brings up a good point that we’ve had to deal with ever increasingly in our musical escapades.  For us, the organ is used as the big, monstrous chord-bringer of doom which should be treated on par with any guitar or bass.  In fact, without a bassist, we depend on it heavily to give the songs a certain fullness.  But almost every time we play a show, the soundguy sees “pretty girl with keyboard” & gives the organ the “accompanying instrument” mix.  Like he thinks Jennifer is just going to stand with one hand on her hip & occasionally hit a little root note.  It doesn’t happen that way… far from it.  No matter what we do to try & prevent this occurrence, someone will always say, “Sounded great, but I couldn’t hear the organ.”  If they couldn’t hear the organ, then it didn’t sound great.  Recently, we’ve just been playing without a PA at different venues & setting our own “mix.”  This has really helped & people have started to hear what is actually going on.

QRD – Do you feel a need to have separate projects where you just work on your own?

Jennifer & Dave – No.  With Grappling Hook, we finally have the freedom & partners in crime to do what we’ve always wanted to do.  We’ve been playing music together for almost 12 years, & I think now we have a good handle on throwing in everything we could ever want to in the music we play.

QRD – Musicians often run into fans with crushes, is their a secret to recognizing when something is getting inappropriate instead of being band promoting?

Jennifer & Dave – We’ve never used flirting as band promotion—in fact, we rarely promote our band.  That’s something we’re working on, but flirting will never be part of it.

QRD – Any advice for other musician couples?

Jennifer & Dave – Create beautiful music babies together.  Mac & cheese & peas is an excellent meal before practice.

Grappling Hook on MySpace

Other QRD interviews with Grappling Hook:
The Torch Marauder interview (November 2005)