February 2008
A couples band from Texas, the romance in Silk Stocking recently ended; but the band is as strong as ever.
QRD – How do you turn music mode on & off in your relationship with each other? Or do you find yourself pretty constantly collaborating on music even if it’s songs about cooking?
Shawn – Well, it’s pretty easy to turn it off because after we rehearse Liz goes home to her new love interest & I cuddle up with a novel & a space heater. I’m not bitter though!
Liz – More arguing, less collaborating. No - Shawn eats/sleeps music mode. My mode has been known to go on vacation for months
QRD – How has your music changed by having someone you’re romantically involved with working with you?
Liz – Shawn used to intimidate me. Now I yawn at his solos & he yells at my chants.
Shawn – After playing music with Liz for 12 years, it’s difficult to remember the changes. I would say that we are calloused when it comes to giving each other feedback on what we don’t like during practice. We are only a two-piece, so we really don’t have to worry about putting other people through our honesty.
QRD – How do you keep things professional rather than getting personal in the band? Like not letting being upset that someone’s not doing their house chores spill into band practice?
Shawn – I don’t think the whole time we were together we had an argument about house chores. When we had other members in the band, it was really an issue to try not to bring baggage into the room. We failed at that many times. Sorry to all the band mates that had to put up with that.
Liz – It’s not about house chores. It’s about car payments & debt. Sometimes if he acts up, I slip a little poison in his tea & then he does whatever I want when it’s time to play.
QRD – Do you think working musically together increases the strength of your relationship?
Shawn – In some ways it did. It also served as a good distraction.
Liz – Yes, yes - what did Shawn say?
QRD – Do you think the music ever suffers because of your relationship?
Liz – A little because of both. Sometimes the music just suffers because of nothing at all.
Shawn – No, but I do think the relationship suffered because of the music.
QRD – Being a romantic couple, do you try to curb lyrical content to or away from things in your relationship?
Shawn – This is a funny question because I used to always try to read into her lyrics, especially a couple years back, & would actually ask her, “Who are those lyrics about!”
Liz – & then I said, “I don’t know.” I still don’t.
QRD – A lot of families kind of look down on musicians as immature, do you find that going out with another musician has eased relationships with your parents or in-laws?
Liz – No. Nothing really moves my family anyways. I’m 35 they are past it.
Shawn – I have a cousin that is in prison, so he is considered the black sheep & I fall just above him.
QRD – Which came first the musical collaboration
or the relationship & do you
feel that at this point that you could
have one without the other?
Shawn – The music & relationship. The night we met... Liz had a little tape recorder & we messed around with loops that same night. I used to not think so, but we have been doing the music thing for four months now without the other. So yes.
Liz – Relationship first. We respected each others work, but we were like, “No you go do your thing, don’t involve me.…” Then one night he came in from his work thing & caught me playing his songs in the closet & that began our story.…
QRD – How do things work with band members besides the two of you to get the same level of connectivity while playing your music?
Liz – They didn’t.
Shawn – That’s why we’re a duo.
QRD – Do you find music related gifts to be romantic or more like giving someone an appliance?
Shawn – Sometimes I used Christmas as an excuse to buy music equipment for the band. I think Liz would rather have something related to music for a gift anyway.
Liz – Never got to buy Shawn a lot of musical instruments, but I always like to change his strings.
QRD – The musician life style has an inherent lack of financial security & healthcare. Do you find yourself thinking, “How can we start a family & continue our musical careers?”
Shawn – We never talked about having a family besides the two cats (which are staying with me!). But the whole healthcare thing for artists/musicians & just the basic funding for the arts in the states are horrible. Soapbox.
Liz – Yep, it is Shawn & you know what? No babies for me. Ever.
QRD – Do you ever switch off instruments to give each other ideas?
Shawn – No, don’t think we have ever got on each other’s instruments unless we are recording.
Liz – No. Shawn’s pretty respectful in giving me my space & not touching my stuff.
QRD – A lot of people say they feel most spiritually connected to another person is when they’re on stage & the set is working. Is this what you find & how does this energy flow into your romantic relationship?
Shawn – I think Liz & I will always be spiritually connected even without music. Sometimes on stage it feels more so & sometimes less. It seemed we were decent at leaving shows behind. Never really got too excited or too depressed about good or bad shows. I was more worried about getting all our shit off stage & loaded up.
Liz – Yeah & I was a little worried about what I just did!
QRD – Some couples start to get seen as a unit with one member as dominant. Do you ever want to get one of you more recognition?
Shawn – I always feel Liz should get more recognition.
Liz – Always. Shawn is my partner for a reason. I adore him & feel lucky to work beside him.
QRD – Do you feel a need to have separate projects where you just work on your own?
Shawn – Sometimes, especially of late.
Liz – Sometimes. I usually just go off alone though & it shuts me up.
QRD – Musicians often run into fans with crushes, is their a secret to recognizing when something is getting inappropriate instead of being band promoting?
Shawn – Ha! Usually not the “fans” you have to worry about!
Liz – Yeah… next question.
QRD – Any advice for other musician couples?
Liz – Please head to the local minister & get married. Buy a house. Have two kids. Quit music. You’ll live longer....
Shawn – Yes break up immediately. I mean love each other until the very end. Happy Valentine’s.
