I didn't build QRD to last forever. To be honest I can't really remember
how it got to last this long & when I read things I've written about
why I started it, I'm not sure if they're accurate or not. I started
working on the first issue more than seven years ago. I don't know
how much has changed since then sometimes. I don't mean in the world,
I mean with me. I've recently been spending a lot of time with three
friends I've known for nine & eight & fourteen years & I've
noticed they're still essentially the same people no matter how many cities
they’ve lived in or jobs they've had or how many times they've been hurt.
I mean, there've been digressions, but they always return to the core people
I love. So I'm thinking maybe the same is true with me & I'm
tired of some of my core things being sadness & external validation.
I'm not sure how I'm going to let this stuff go or who I'll be without
it. Unfortunately part of letting go of negativity is going to mean
no longer printing QRD. It's been really emotionally & financially
draining to do almost every issue & that's why this issue isn't even
being printed. Maybe with it just being online I'll be able to do
it easier because it's less work, but I think I really need to just let
it go for a while & tone it down to a hobby instead of a dying business.
It's hard because in a way it says I've wasted seven years of my life,
but it also breaks my life into a new period & that's good. Maybe
I'll come back in five years like Permission just did as an older, wiser,
& more honest zine. Thanks to everyone who ever did an interview
or read an issue, but most of all thanks to Mike & Tara VanPortfleet
who really helped me to want to keep doing QRD for so long & for letting
me know it is okay to stop if I need to....