I wish that there were zombies.
I wish there was a plague of them so I didn't have to think anymore.
I'd just be busy trying to stay alive & trying to find a safe warm
place to sleep each individual night, so I don't wake up with teeth biting
into the bones of my forearm. I won't have to worry about anything
but continuing to exist & even if I stop existing I'll just turn into
a zombie like everyone else & that's cool beans too. I'd even
settle for there not being a real plague of zombies, but just loads of
movies about it that play in theaters 24 hours a day & you pay $5 &
leave whenever you want & I'd build a little fort around a couple seats
& just stay until I've spent all my money on popcorn & Almond Joys.
Then I'd go out into the real world & I wouldn't be able to function
anymore in society because I'd be paranoid thinking people were zombies
& then I'd either start killing people or move back in the theater
where you know where the zombies are, but either way things are a-okay.