alcohol -- “use it or abuse it”

Almond Joy -- “indescribably delicious”

ashtrays -- “nothing works like an ashtray”

Bacardi -- “more drinkable than ever”

boxer shorts -- “drop your pants & mingle!”

Billy Cawfield -- “it’s great to be young & insane”

Clearasil -- “be comfortable in your skin”

convenience store clerks -- “all this to please the ladies”

Corn Nuts -- (original flavor) -- “bigger than guns” (ranch) “take a chance on death” (barbecue) “indescribable! death!”

Dodge -- “we question everything”

Doug 4 -- “she touched my peppy”

Giant Eagle -- “it takes a giant to make life simple”

Laura Ingles -- “I take on the world & win”

Arnold Jackson -- “what’re you talkin about Willis?”

jewelry -- “often shiny”

Ned Kirby -- “I was born in apathy.”

Little Debbie -- “unwrap a smile”

Ryan Lum -- “well, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

Lycia -- “you need to be beat with the suburban stick”

Brian John Mitchell -- “unintentionally cruel”

Naya -- “hungry for life thirsty for Naya”

New York City -- “we make lousy salsa!”

Ted Nugent -- “I don’t advocate violence, I perform it.”

pants -- “nothing expresses your tastes for what you like below the waist like pants”

Tom Ridge -- “There is no future, there is no opportunity....”

Macho Man Randy Savage -- “snap into a slim jim!”

Stepman -- “God is good to me all the time, fuck the police”

Mr. T -- “I pity the fool!”

Tang -- “it’s a kick in a glass”

television -- “33% better than real life”

Julianna Towns -- “Life is horrible enough.”

Underoos -- “underwear is fundawear”

US Army -- “be all that you can be”

Keith Van Horn -- “Remember, losing’s just like winning with less points.”

J.J. Walker -- “dynomite!”

yuppies -- “working for corporations sucks, but I’m trying to change that... from the inside”