Itís snowing outside. It makes me notice how cold it really is here in Steveís place. Itís made me take up smoking again even though there isnít any tobacco that isnít two years stale. But smoking letís me pretend itís a different time & stop thinking. Stop thinking about how many days Erikaís been missing & that we might not find her alive & that Iím responsible for that in the end. Stop thinking about how I donít know what the date is anymore & that means that in a way Iím lost in time. Stop thinking about how I donít know anything about anything anymore.
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