I start walking west towards Aurora; I found it in a road atlas in an old
gas station. Needing to go into one of the old stores always freaks
me out a little. All the stuff inside in bright packaging coated
with dust & I have no idea what most of it was used for. It’s
just kind of depressing; it makes me feel like I’m not as smart as people
were sixty years ago & that people will have lost more in another sixty
years. Not devolving exactly, but something. My dad had me
read all these books that were literature or whatever, Dosteovsky &
Melville & stuff. I didn’t really understand it because it seems
so far away from real. I don’t know if it’s hard to relate to just
for me or for anyone born in the last fifty years. I wonder if in
the cities people are writing new books.
I’m kind of scared of getting to a city & not liking it. My dad
hated the cities so much. He said that as more people came in the
walls of the cities there wasn’t enough work or food for people & they’d
become really violent. Some people were killing each other &
some people were eating each other. My dad & grandfather moved
to Aurora because it wasn’t supposed to be as bad as a lot of places because
it hadn’t really been in a metropolitan area & actually had farmland
inside its walls. That was a long time ago though & I’m not really
hoping for anything much besides a chance to not be alone.
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