I wake up & I put my brother’s body on the kitchen table. He
doesn’t weigh anything at all now; I guess all the blood & everything
else has drained out of his body. I want to bury him at the same
site as the rest of our family. I guess I need to get a car first.
I go back in the woods towards the motel. I’m trying to stay focussed
on just going to steal a car & not to kill anyone. I don’t know
if that plan’s going to work out. It seems in a way like the easiest
& most rational thing to do would be to die trying to kill these assholes.
When I get to the motel, most of the cars are still there. At least
four are missing from last night. I open the door of a sedan &
there’s a punk rock couple with dyed black hair sleeping in the back seat.
I smash the butt of my rifle into the guy’s face killing him. I cover
the girl’s mouth with my left hand & say, “Give me the keys & keep
fucking quiet.” She pulls the keys out of her dead boyfriend’s front
pocket. I take the keys from her & drive to the house.
I pull her out of the car & shoot her boyfriend in the head with the
pistol. I take her inside & tie her to a chair with duck tape.
“So who are you people?” I ask her.
“Fuck you, militia man.”
She’s a lot younger than I initially thought. I don’t know if she’s
more than fifteen, her face is still a little round with baby fat.
I want to hit her, if she were a guy I’d beat her until she shit herself.
I’m just staring at her & she’s biting her bottom lip trying to be
tough, but she just starts crying anyway.
I get my brother’s body & pull the punk out of the car & put my
brother in. I get a shovel from the house & drive across town
to the gravesite.
When I get there it takes a few minutes for me to get out of the car.
The last time I was here I had my son & wife in the backseat.
I’d gotten a neighbor to shoot them & put them in the car for me.
I laid them in the ground myself in the fourty-second row. Both in
the same grave, marker 42-317. Our parents are somewhere in row thirty-seven
& our sister’s in sixty-one. This would be row 103 where I dig
his grave. There won’t be anyone left to put me here when I die.
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