Advil – with the tasty candy coating, it’s hard to eat just one.

Almond Joy – holy crap! two in a package containing almonds coconut, chocolate & joy.  my new found favorite.

Almond M &M’s – maybe it’s just me, but I think the candy coating’s too sweet.

Annabelle’s Big Hunk – kind of a harder less sweet Sugar Daddy with peanuts.  kind of too large; it would be more appropriate in bite size pieces, but I guess it needs to live up to its name.

Baby Ruth – this is a good candy bar featuring peanuts, chocolate, & soy bean oil.  no wonder Hawkman eats it.

Bit-O-Honey – really sweet, not high on flavor.  caramel-esque & too much work to chew.

Blo-Pops – two candies for the price of one.  I like the blue ones & am scared of people who bite them in half right away.

Boston Baked Beans – a peanut with a thin candy coating.  good.

Brown & Haley Almond Roca – looks like a cat terd, tastes really nice.  the official candy of Roxy Carmichael.

Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut – maybe it’s just me, but I’d expect more different things in here than raisins & almonds.

Candyblox – these are supposed to be easy to build with like Legos, but they don’t really snap together like them though they are as hard.  kind of a fruity Sweet Tart with an unfortunate banana yellow.

Charleston Chew – precisely messy enough.

Chase’s Cherry Mash – This is surprisingly good.  It has chocolate & peanuts & cherry nougat & all three flavors are distinct & non-invasive to each other.  I think they used alien technology to design this candy.

Chick-o-Stick – as good as it is cheap.  Peanut butter & coconut in crunchy stick form.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Doh Candy – synthetic cookie doh is pure sugar, but it comes with a spoon.

Cinn-a-burst – featuring the flavor crystals that make you feel like a babe-magnet.

Cry Baby Tears – One of those semi-chalky candies.  Like a sour version of Sweet Tarts..

Dental Care – the Baking Soda Gum - not sticky, not tasty.

Dots – too gummy of a gumdrop, gets stuck in your teeth.

Ducchess Sweet Potatoe Pie – tastes just as yummy as every other fruit pie.

Elana Honey Almond – creamy smooth chocolate with a mild almond taste.

Farley’s Coconut Stacks – finally, a candy that needs a chaser.

Farley’s French Burnt Peanuts – a cross between peanut brittle & rocks.

Gardner’s Peanut Butter Meltaway – This smells & tastes like Palmer’s coin candies.  No frills & good like childhood.

Goldenberg’s Bite Size All Natural Peanut Chews – How is two ounces of candy bite size? This is nasty.  It comes with instructions on the back of the wrapper, “Throw Away.”

Gummi Bears – I can’t stand the consistency of these things.  if you lick the backs you can throw them & stick them to ceilings.  in germany they have ones with vitamins.

Hershey’s Classic Caramels – pretty high end for the price & not too chewy, a good caramel.

Hershey’s Cookies & Cream – good, but if you eat the whole thing it might make you sick.

Hershey’s Hugs with Almonds – I like these.  they’re even better with those little candy drop mints

Juicy Fruit – with the flavor that doesn’t last!

Junior Mints – who wouldn’t want a junior mint?

King Size Almond Joy – two almonds instead of one on each segment of my favorite candy bar.

Kit-Kat – good & crispy, no longer available with the foil & white cardboard.

Kit Kat Big Kat – They took one of the segments of a Kit Kat & enlarged it to full candy bar size.  Somehow it seems a little more chocolatey.  It kind of makes Kit Kat’s less special when the packaging is just like everything else.

Lance Pecan Twirls – not too tasty with horribly hard to open packaging.

Lemonheads – not as good in real life as in childhood nostalgia.

Lemon Warheads – intense for 20 seconds & then, normal candy.

Lifesaver Blueberry Vanilla Lollipop – mmm is this good.  not too sweet & fun to eat.

Lik-m-aid – this just isn’t as much fun as I remember it... maybe because they changed the picture on the outside.  sugar isn’t an ingredient somehow.

Lindt with hazelnuts – this comes from switzerland & is expensive, but it’s dreamy & too rich to eat in one sitting.

Little Debbie Oats & Honey Sunbelt Granola – good stuff in the chewy granola style.  nice sweet & keeps you regular.

Mars Bar – sure doesn’t taste like it comes from another planet.

Marathon Bar – anybody know if they still make this?  it’s about a foot long & has stringy caramel & was popular in the late seventies....

Milk n Honey – an italian version of Mary Jane, even more lo-fi & scary than the real thing.  it has bees on the wrapper that make it look more like a bug trap than candy.

Milky Way – nougat & caramel.  nothing like the commercial.

Mounds – it’s an Almond Joy without a nut, I need the nut.

Nestle Chunky – cool silver vacuum sealed packaging reminiscent of space food that has nuts & raisins inside, but all I taste is chocolate

Nestle Treasures Peanut Butter Miniatures – Chocolate treasure chests filled with peanut butter.  Similar in taste to those chocolate peanut butter coins wrapped in foil.

Nestle Turtle – first off this doesn’t look like a turtle & then it tastes like a moonpie gone bad.

Oh Henry! – kind of like a peanut butter cup with a little too much chocolate.  I think it’s named after Hank Aaron.

One Hundred Grand – hard when cold, doesn’t compare to a Snickers.

Palmer Peanut Buddy – cool candy coins available for most holidays.  wrapped in foil & filled with flavor & nostalgia. 

Payday – I expected more of this.  it doesn’t give you the caffeine headache, but it doesn’t taste that great anyway.

Peanut M & M’s – a perfect meal substitute.

Pearson’s Nut Roll – mighty tasty.  twinky center with peanuts glued on by caramel.

Peppermint Dentyne Ice – a taste so refreshing you can’t believe someone isn’t kissing  you.

Pixie Stix – one of the classic foods of america.  my favorite flavor’s green.

Purgatori – Why is Chaos Comics making candy?  Rich milk chocolate with almonds & demon girls wearing the Star of David on the wrapper.

Razzles – First it’s a chalky candy a la candy hearts, then it has gum in the center.  It’s not too great, but I like the name.

Reese’s Nutrageous – you think you’d be okay as long as you didn’t sit on this on a wooden chair, but it’s a little too chocolatey for me.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup with the cookie in the bottom – more or less the same as the original except it’s crunchy.

Reese’s Pieces – eat a three pound bag for lunch, feel sick for two days.

Ricola – I’m not sure if this is a candy, but I dig it.  spit it out before you finish it or it makes you feel spacey.

Riesens – icky, this is a lot like a tootsie roll.  a chocolatey mess that’s too much work to chew.

Rocky Mountain Crisp – extra smooth chocolate with crispy rice.

Rolo – these are not where it’s at.

Russel Stover Candies Pecan Delight – this is way too chocolatey for me, even if it does have cool nuts.

Russell Stover’s S’mores – This is not a good thing.  Hopefully whoever made these got demoted.

Senocot – What the hell? This isn’t candy.  Why do they try & get me to put it on my ice cream?

Sifer’s Valomilk – I’ve always stayed away from marshmallow cups, I don’t know why.  This is nice & light & fluffy with no preservatives, just milk chocolate & marshmallow.

Smile! – I know this isn’t really candy, but I had to mention it.  Good Humor finally makes the world’s coolest snack.  It’s a smiley face on a stick made out of lemon sorbet.

S’morsels – milk duds with a more potent core.

Smooth ’n’ Melties – I like these little mints, but they’re addictive & easy to get sick on.

Snickers – fits all the hype.  there’s a reason it’s america’s favorite candy bar.  fully endorsed by the Danimal.

Snickers Munch – this is it, the legendary chocolate free Snickers.  it’s kind of like a less hard & more buttery peanut brittle.

Source Vitamin C Sugarless Gum – it opens with a Starburst flavor & turns to orange silly putty.  Special features include Nutra Sweet & vitamin C & a cigarette type box to lead kids to smoking.

Starburst Jellybeans – just as yummy & addictive as the original starbursts & the ingredients look vegan.

Strawberry Quik – eat it raw as a cotton candy substitute.

Sunbelt Fudge Dipped Macaroon Chewy Granola Bar – the chocolate isn’t so thick you can’t taste anything else & it’s a beautiful thing to wake up to.

Sunset Orchard Butter Toffee Peanuts – what peanut m&m’s were meant to be.  candy with nuts, no chocolate.

Sweet Escapes Caramel & Peanut Butter Crispy Bar – what would you expect from five grams of fat? thumbs down.

Sweethearts – I thought conversation hearts tasted worse than they actually do, but they can still hurt your feelings....

Sweet Tarts – pixie stix dust, now in tablet form.

Tang – eaten raw you can burn the inside of your mouth.

Three Musketeers – no redeeming qualities what so ever.

Tiger’s Milk Peanut Butter Bar – chewy, america’s first nutrition bar.

Toffifay – a hazel nut covered with caramel & chocolate; reminiscent of something good, but not quite it & therefore annoying.

Too Tarts Cherry Sour Liquid Candy – I like sour candy, but this is too much.  It’s almost nauseating.  It has a warning on it that it may cause tongue irritation.

Too Tart Strawberry Sour Powder – It Looks like a pixie stick gone hard core & it tastes like strawberry Quik.  I need to do some research to see if it has the same side effects as those two wonder drugs.

Tootsie Flavor Roll Vanilla Twistie – this tastes almost the same as the original & is just as much work to chew which means it isn’t worth your time.

Trebors – I like these.  they’re these hard candies of various flavors with a chocolatey surprise in the center.  Plus they sound like a cross between friendly Hungarians & a Kevin Bacon movie.

Trolli Sour Gummi Beans – at first it seems like a normal jelly bean, but then you bite into it & bang zoom it’s a sour flavored gummi treat.

Twix – two for you, none for me, thanks.

Watermelon Squeeze Pop – this is somewhere between the consistency of honey & toothpaste.  it’s phallic & expensive & tastes like bad candy.

Werther’s Originals – a candy that fits the pace of my lifestyle.

Whatchamacallit – kinda ricey, kinda crispy, kinda rice crispity dipped in chocolate.  it had cool commercials back in the eighties.

Whitman’s Sampler – classic rich chocolate flavor in the classy box you’ve learned to trust.

Winter Clark Bar – pretty butterfingerry with a white chocolate coating.  for some reason it made my mouth numb.

Xploder – Willy Wonka made a chocolate bar with a twist, they put pop rocks inside.  Not a serious candy bar, but an exciting one.

Zero – caramel, peanuts, almonds, & white fudge.  okay, but not as cool as its name.

Zotz Candy Bomb – a lollipop without a stick with a sweet tart in the center.