by Brian John Mitchell
When I was 14 I had certain goals for my
future life. I wanted to be nocturnal because I thought vampires
& ghosts were cool. I wanted to be a mailman because I liked
getting mail. I wanted to be a musician or writer because thatís
how I connected with other humans. Now Iím 30 & Iíve accomplished
all these things. I have a third shift job working for the post office.
Iím a struggling musician & writer. But unfortunately nothing
seems as cool as I anticipated. Or maybe the problem is it is cool.
My life is a 14 year-oldís cool & at 30 I have no interest in being
cool. I donít even know how I got into this place in my life &
the realization that itís what I wanted when I was a freshman in high school
kind of makes me think that it was some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
It makes me hope this is all some bogus teenage daydream. Iíll come
out of a cloudy mental haze listening to Metallicaís Master of Puppets
album as some mild poison with hallucinogenic side-effects wears off.
But then what? Do I try to make it back to where I am or do I try
to do something better? Can I even survive my life if I try to do
better or is the path I followed the only one that letís me get out alive?
Fucking time travelÖ.