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How to be a Pseudo-Intellectual
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How to be a Pseudo-Intellectual
Hangout at coffee shops, preferably Starbucks or Caribou
Buy a pair of non-prescription lenses if you don’t wear glasses
Cut name-brand tags off of your clothing
Smoke clove cigarettes or a pipe
Take a contra dancing class
Learn the difference between coffee types
Carry around books written in french
Hang Ansel Adams’ prints in living room
Wear wool socks with sandals
Trade in your book bag for a satchel
Use a fake european accent
Buy a coffee table Dali book
Proclaim yourself agnostic
Buy a corduroy jacket with suede elbow patches &/or a beret
Flirt with people at the library
Hangout at campuses of colleges you’re not attending
Buy used books because they look read
Run new books through dryer so they look read
Listen to NPR to keep informed
Use catch phrases in european languages
Watch Ally McBeal, The Practice, ER, & X-Files
Carry a thesaurus, but keep it hidden
Listen to the Cure
Buy the best wine available in the grocery store
Buy the Twin Peaks box set
Say you’re an out of work writer, actor, musician, or all three
Get a poem published in the National Library of Poetry
Answer all questions with questions, when asked if you’re a buddhist, answer that with a question